In another unicorn of dating experiences, the guy who ghosted me after sex wound up un-ghosting me. He’s divorced and realized that he wasn’t ready to be in a serious relationship yet, and admitted that he had his own patterns he needed to work on, like, for instance, withdrawing.We talked about what had happened, and he explained why he’d been out of touch. While it was extremely helpful and comforting to hear that from him, I can’t count on this always happening.You " The problem is, when you’re out there trying to meet someone on dating apps—and even IRL—hurtful stuff happens all the time.
And given " instead of what I usually do: sobbing uncontrollably while manically downloading meditation apps. I expect that I will continue to for some time to come, if not forever.
But between my therapist who helps me question my negative beliefs, my friends who keep telling me to not take things personally, and my own relentless work on myself to shake loose from these painful storylines, I’m making some progress.
This is a way to comfort myself without deciding that I hate men, and also feel compassionate for them while still being kind and gentle to myself.
Now, when a guy effusively expresses interest in me then abruptly changes his mind or ghosts after sex, I can think about how it’s likely that given his particular emotional wounds, he hit a wall for intimacy and had to retreat.
My friends keep insisting that it’s not, and I shouldn't take it as such.