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Today I am, because I make the rules and I can change them if I want to. Uh, because I went speed dating this week, and chances are, you're probably curious about what that is/whether it was fun and if you should try it, and I've got your back. (Note: I've taken measures to protect the some of the innocent, stupid, and/or ridiculous people I met last night.

Also, this story involves complete strangers, and therefore, is unlikely to come back to haunt me.

Ditch the car and take the subway (or bus or streetcar) to your destination of choice.

Take your pick.) Parking, especially on a Friday night, is an expensive hassle in downtown Toronto.

The ladies sit for the duration of the evening, while the lads move from lovely lady to lovely lady every six to seven minutes.